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Father: Figure of Sacrifice and Discipline

October 29, 2009

Guest Post by Gaurav Sharma of  ‘The Untold Me’

– Belated Happy Father’s day to my Papa

Ten minutes back I got a really good intellectual mail about some story related to spirits and the mail ended with some common and very well accepted generalization that MOTHER’s play bigger role in child’s upbringing than the FATHER’s do.

But I m not buying this generalization at any cost. This is what I feel.

You just cant generalize that mothers play a bigger role in child’s up bringing… it depends family to family, house to house, person to person…there must be numerous cases where father’s have played a bigger role in child’s life.

No doubt mothers take care of their kids from their bath to their studies to their friend circle to their dirty nails to their parent-teacher meetings…but its father who give them all what make life look so simple and easy going…

Father is a figure of sacrifice and discipline. Kids and mothers buy new things on every here and there occasions but I have never seen any father doing such expenditure just because he is committed towards his responsibility of giving his family all comforts.

This is what makes a Father

God took the strength of a mountain,

The majesty of a tree,

The warmth of a morning summer sun,

The calm of a quiet sea,

The generous soul of dew,

The comforting arm of night,

The wisdom of the ages,

The power of the eagle’s flight,

The patience of eternity,

The depth of a family need,

Then God combined these qualities,

When there was nothing more to add,

He knew His masterpiece was complete,

And so,

He called it … My Father

He is your hero, guide and friend.

He is always there for you with his love maybe not carrying it on his face or lips but his eyes and hearts are flooded with it.

Remembering his presence near my bed when I get sick, remembering his presence outside the examination centers when I come out after finishing my exam, remembering his presence when he gives me 10 times what I ask for, It makes me feel both proud, happy and emotional.

Though I am not a believer of Father’s day because wishing father happy father’s day seems more like out of formality but still I WISH MY FATHER A BELATED FATHER’S DAY. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING. I LOVE YOU PAPA!!

Packed with All Emotions- The Complete Man!!

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17 Comments leave one →
  1. October 29, 2009 8:24 pm

    That is a beautiful dedication, Gaurav.

    You are right. I have argued with many on the same. Many times mothers are put on a pedestal and valued more for the same thing that fathers do. This is not right for either because expectations put pressure on relations.

    May be it is because mother’s love is more visible. Mothers who does something out of the ordinary are sometimes appreciated more and fathers who do the same thing aren’t because it is expected of them. It is time we give all good fathers their due.

    Coming from a lovely family with the bestest Dad, I totally concur with your thoughts.

  2. October 29, 2009 10:28 pm

    What a wonderful post! You are right, mothers are over-rated and over generalized.

    ‘You just cant generalize that mothers play a bigger role in child’s up bringing… it depends family to family, house to house, person to person…there must be numerous cases where father’s have played a bigger role in child’s life.’ I have a great set of parents and both of them played an equally important role in my upbringing. In totally different ways – but there is no way could I say that one was more important than the other.

    There are wonderful mothers and fathers and just as deplorable mothers and fathers. Fathers certainly do seem to miss out, in comparison to mothers.

    • October 30, 2009 4:37 am

      I also loved the “Packed with all emotions: The complete Man” he has on his sidebar – copied it here because it goes so well with this post 🙂

  3. October 30, 2009 2:23 am

    agreed…

    very thoughtful post..

    • October 30, 2009 4:39 am

      It’s great to acknowledge that dads can sacrifice too. We are so used to hearing mothers do and should do that!

  4. October 30, 2009 2:25 am

    I agree with you…A father is as important as a mother in a child’s life…Being a mother of a 5 year old girl, I’m under tremendous pressure to be the ‘best’ mother (whatever that is) there is…I have to be perfect at all times…I don’t know why mothers are seen as a godlike figures…Who made them so? Mothers are humans first and then mothers…They make mistakes – nobody is perfect…If society saw things differently, life would be much smoother…Also, society should change it’s view on the father’s role in a family – just because men don’t give birth doesn’t mean they don’t nurture their children…

    • October 30, 2009 4:33 am

      I also love the concept of a couple awaiting the birth of a baby instead of just mothers, and of course paternity leave which is as much a blessing for the mother and child as it is for a dad. Also it acknowledges a father’s role and involvement in child care.

  5. October 30, 2009 4:36 am

    Lovely post !!!

  6. October 30, 2009 6:08 am

    Nice one!
    Fathers are as lovely and as important as mothers..

    All the best to the NGI team for their new beginning

  7. October 30, 2009 6:56 am

    Loved this post, Fathers should and do play a role in the child’s life. The world is so obsessed with mother, an unhealthy obsession I must say that puts pressure on the mothers and denies fathers the acknowledgment they well deserve for their own roles.

    • October 30, 2009 7:42 am

      You are absolutely right, Shail. There is so much pressure to be a perfect mother all imposed by society that fathers get undue credit for sometimes just picking up a diaper. Then later children start putting mothers on pedestal and father lose the race because he is expected to go out and bring the dough.

      Recently I read a post from a guy who said he was surprised when nurse in USA asked him to change his newborn’s diaper. In India all that is mother and other female members’ job and fathers always escape. He apparently likes Indian system.

      Indian system is definitely good as far as children seeing more of their grandparents is concerned but that is possible only if we all stay at native place. Isn’t it? I lived in India but we were always moving.

      I prefer any system where father is equally responsible and parents are considered human-not god.

      • October 30, 2009 9:05 am

        I vote for that, where father is equally responsible as the mother in rearing the child rather than it being the job of the females of the extended family! In some households (or should I say most of the households run the traditional way??) the husband is not allowed to spend time with his wife in the days after delivery!! He is not allowed into the delivery room. Of course he is there at the hospital room, once they return home its back to the old custom.
        Some of the older women mentioned this fact in my presence when my son was born as they found my husband was most of the time with me, helping with the baby and all. Reason that they gave?? That I may end up with another baby soon. I thanked them (sarcastically) and said I knew of other family planning methods, so they didn’t have to bother being human ones.
        Then there are MILs who don’t want their son to be near the DIL and baby (all about power and keeping them apart) and shoo him away with derogatory remarks (some of which I cannot write here) So even those men who WANT to have a role in the upbringing of the child are denied unless they have a strong character able to stand up to their own dominating mothers and other women of the family and do what they want.
        Things are changing… but too slowly. It makes me mad to see the same things happening even with the next generation!

  8. October 30, 2009 7:56 am

    @ Gaurav and excellent and touching ode to a father.I’m tempted to share this poem with my dad .Its a pity how the role of dads is underplayed in a child’s upbringing ..Dads can also be nurturers and caretakers…( I can vouch for it my dad was as involved in our upbringing as was mom )

    @ Team NGI :Thank you for shifting to wordpress..makes it easier to follow you guys and comment on posts !!

  9. October 30, 2009 12:45 pm

    Oh I agree to everything Gaurav has said!

    I know my DJ cannot emote be a part of those conversations like I love u beta and all that (neither my MJ), but nothing can replace running to him and being hugged tightly everytime I need a reassurance or whenever I feel like…. (advantages of having a portly and potbellied Dad:) It is a combination of the Dad and Mom that makes what everyone is….Just can’t imagine life without these two pillars of mine :))))

    Ashes

  10. Lakshmi permalink
    October 30, 2009 2:55 pm

    I loved this post. I have a father who does everything for us just like our mother does. We could talk anything to him or even more things than we could talk to my mother. And I feel so blessed to have him.

    I do not believe we could put one ahead of the other. And we should not compare.

    So far in my family, I have felt that I do more upkeeping like giving showers, nail trimming etc on a more regular basis than my husband, just because I am more available. As much as I understand that my husband does a lot of other creative things with my children, these daily upkeeping is important as well and should not be dismissed! We tend to take it as a mother’s duty and do not appreciate it some times.

    Both the parents need to be appreciated and this post serves a great purpose in giving dads their long overdue credit.

  11. October 30, 2009 3:03 pm

    Thanks alot Solilo,Smitha, Indian Homemaker , sraboneyghose , hitchwriter, mystery, shail, liveonimpulse(loved this name), pins n ashes [ I have scrolled this page up and down some 5-6 times and hope no names are left ; ) ] ….for your comments…

Trackbacks

  1. International Men’s Day « The Life and Times of an Indian Homemaker

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